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ANGRY? HOW WELLNESS PRACTICES CAN HELP COOL THE HEAT IN TWO
STEPS
Ever beaten up a pillow? Ever driven to an empty parking lot and screamed your
head off? Ever swallowed a wad of anger only to feel sick to your stomach
afterwards or perhaps taken out your frustrations on an innocent friend, family
member, or store clerk?
Anger exists. It is a natural emotion and one from which we can run but never hide.
Eventually, it will catch up to us. In the meantime, both suppressing and/or
overindulging it can actually do irreversible damage to the body’s systems, verified
by studies done at both Boston and Columbia Universities. These studies have
found a link between anger and depression, anxiety, heart problems, IBS, and
addictions. Even cancer has been shown to have a relationship with anger.
We all get angry. No one is above anger. Not even the Dalai Lama who once said:
You never stop getting angry about small things. In my case, it’s when my staff do
something carelessly, then my voice goes high. But after a few minutes, it passes.
If it takes minutes for the energy of anger to pass within a master, it’s because he’s
faced, felt and worked consciously with his anger.
There’s no question that anger is a strong force. It can make us very uncomfortable
whether we are on the giving or receiving end of it. It is an emotion very tied into
childhood experiences, the self-image we work to maintain, the stories our minds tell,
and the truth about how we feel about ourselves. Many of us have been brought up
to believe that anger is a bad thing to be avoided at all costs. We’re constantly
lambasted with moral ideas of anger being a base emotion that benefits no one, that
it is something to overcome. Perhaps it is, but the overcoming of it takes hard work.
Most people deal with anger in one of 2 ways: (1) they hold it in, either conscicously
or unconsiously or (2) they let it out, either consciously or unconsciously. Generally,
it’s usually the unconscious variety! We stuff our feelings of anger so as not to
destroy that “nice person” self image we’ve constructed or to keep from hurting
others, but what often results is self-inflicted stress. On the other hand, if we act out
our anger, we very often do so with unnecessary aggression or even violence.
Obviously, that serves no one. Where’s the middle ground?
FIRST STEP
Holding the middle ground first requires awareness. The important thing is to
recognize signs of anger early, admit them, and face them…without judgment. It isn’t
easy to do. Often, our minds are jumping on such negative emotions, convincing us
we don’t feel what we actually do…or that we shouldn’t.
So what are some signs that anger is arising? Look for:
Tension in the jaw or neck or gut
Changes in the tone or volume of your voice
Irritiability
Shutting others out
Sarcasm or passive aggressive behaviors
Feeling hot “under the collar”
Depression
Anxiety
Pacing
Craving an addiction
STEP TWO
Some would say that all we need is this first step...to be aware when we are angry
and simply watchful of our response to it. From my own experience, I don’t think
mindfulness is enough. We have to also find safe passage for the energy of anger so
it can be expressed and released safely. If we don’t, that energy accumulates, and
we’re left with the building blocks of frustration and eventual illness.
Anger doesn’t have to be scary or throw us off balance. In fact, the energy of anger
can be used productively and constructively. Various tools for helping us do just that
exist. Movement forms such as yoga and chi gong, specifically kundalini yoga,
voicework, and art therapy all offer some very powerful techniques for allowing,
accepting, expressing and transmuting anger. With our anger in check, we can then
genuinely work toward cultivating more enlightened states of being like compassion
and equanimity. Sure we can cultivate those things without addressing our anger, but
the anger will be there, seething under the surface, undermining and shading our
vibe.
If you know you have anger issues or outdated ideas about anger that may be
affecting your sense of self, peace, and health, you don’t have to suffer alone. At We
Are Wellness, there are many different kinds of caring practitioners that can help you
develop a deep, inner resilience to anger...and other uncomfortable states too...so
that just like the Dalai Lama, they pass within minutes. Check out all your choices
from art-related services, to breathwork, to yoga teachers (that’s almost A to Z!).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Inspired by wisdom traditions including Yoga, Buddhism, Advaita Vedanta,
Dzogchen, Daoism, Sikhism and Shamanism, each expressing the same Truth in
their unique ways, Beth's role is as an energy worker and creative channel to Life's
Great Mystery. She is driven by the desire to make ecstasy practical by offering
guidance, healing, yoga, chi gong, meditation, and voicework practices to those
ready for deep inner work and healing.
NOTE TO EDITOR:
This was first published on Divine Me Time but has since been removed. It may still
be on archival sites. However, it has been lightly rewritten for We Are Wellness.
May your sun shine brightly!